That which belongs to me
by Aeriel Cross
Summary: To him, everything belongs to his curse, his Innocence, and nothing was ever his. His sensei said there was something, but what could it be? Whoops. Hiatus for now
1. Chapter 1

Title: That which belongs to me

Author: Aeriel Cross

Genre: Angst / Spritual

Summary: To him, everything belonged to his curse, or his Innocence, not him. There was nothing he can ever truly call his own. ( Prelude to 'Memories of Nobody ) Kanda.

N: Hehe…sorry about that promise where I said I'd write a Kanda/Allen story. Don't worry, I'm working full speed on it now!! I've just recently got back my exams scripts and is soo depressed my writing skills are a little more than just hindered…sigh. But anyway, the story starts now!!

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray man or any of the characters. Though I wished Kanda was mine.

'Thank you…for bringing back the Innocence…' A giant white tentacle extended from an even larger white mass that was Hevlaska's body to gently take the glowing Innocence from the young exorcist. The exorcist didn't say anything, and merely turned away and stalked off, scowling.

'Sorry, Hevlaska-san. He's always like that – that moody, I mean.' Komui said apologetically, though he felt that 'moody' would not be the word to describe Kanda Yuu.

'I understand…Komui-san…But do please, look out for Kanda…he's tethering on the…brink…'

'I will,' Komui assured the exorcist.

xxXXxx

As the raven haired exorcist stalked down the corridor back to his own quarters, everyone scuttled to get out of his way, with whispers of 'bad mood' and ' he's being pissed off again' following him all the way. He was already accustomed to these things, and walked on, disregarding. It wasn't like he's in a bad mood today, but he wasn't in a good mood either. A better way to put it was Kanda Yu was emotionless, probably other than for anger.

Nearing his room, he noticed something small and golden flitting about the door, and on a closer observation, saw that it was the moyashi's golem, Timcampy. Not far off, he could hear the faint shouts of the said owner shouting for it. Scoffing, he opened the door and entered his dark, cold and almost bare room, and was annoyed to see that the golem had followed him in.

'Che…'

Ignoring it, he shut the door. Moyashi was probably not going to be able to find it, but its not like he was going to care, as long as the irritating flying golf ball doesn't get in his way. At least it was better of trapped somewhere than being eaten up by some furball stalking the building – he had head about various cases of it being any furballs' favourite. Setting mugen aside on the table next to his bed, he twitched slightly when Timcampy almost settled on mugen's hilt, but instead it flitted about the katana, as if scrutinizing it, and finally settled down next to his head on the pillow.

_It's as annoying as its owner…_

Letting his thoughts take him, he idly watched Timcampy's rhythmical flick of its tail. At least that Walker had something that belonged to him, he mused. Timcampy was loyal enough, and belonged to no one but Allen Walker.

_Not like me._

This mission had been a success, he reflected, something he always did after a mission. As usual, he was on his own, with only the finder up against the ten or possibly even more Akumas, some of which were Level Twos. He was pretty certain that without the curse to back him up, he would have most certainly died back there. Looking over at the corner of his room where he kept his lotus on a low cabinet, he smirked. The pink lotus was glowing softly, with only two petals at the bottom of the hour glass where it is kept, the only source of light in the room now other than the orange sunlight coming in from through his cracked window, casting long ghostly shadows on the floor. The fact was, Kanda had always kept his room dark, and never bothered to even fix a light, repair the window or just furnish the room to make it more homely. It just didn't associate with him – maybe it was pathetic fallacy, as one would call it.

He found it so annoyingly ironic, how he had to depend on his curse to stay alive. A curse, which will shorten his life, is actually prolonging it. Without it, he was sure he'd have died many years ago. The only things sustaining him was that and his Innocence. Without them, he was sure he would just be any normal human being. He wouldn't be an exorcist, then where he'd be? Maybe somewhere buried, dead? He didn't know. His life had been drawn out for him by his Innocence long ago, and also by his curse. Yes, he had the skills of a samurai, but that alone wouldn't be enough to defeat an Akuma. They would be useless then, since he probably won't teach. His sensei always told him if he'd did that, he'll just end up killing all the students. And he was right, given a temper like Kanda's.

It was just so irritating.

Nothing ever once belonged to him, in eighteen years of his life. Not his life and most certainly not his fate. One would say that mugen belonged to him, but it found him, not the other way around. It, and the Innocence without it, found him, and chose him as its conformer. If it was his life, maybe it once belonged to him before he got cursed. Ever since then he had been throwing himself relentlessly into battles, not caring anymore were he to die – he had the lotus to back him up, and besides, he was getting so tired of fighting, so tired of being used.

_It's like you're trying to get yourself killed,_ a snide voice said in the back of his mind.

_Maybe you're right,_ he told the voice. _I don't want to be controlled by my Innocence. I just want to…_

_Be normal?_ The voice sounded sarcastic. _That's impossible. What's normal to you anyway?_

That's right – what was normal to him anyway? Being an exorcist? What does it mean to 'lead a normal life'? To work, eat, and sleep? Wake up every morning to see the sun, and then to sleep as the moon comes up? But he was doing that anyway. Not to face so many life-threatening situations? Probably that was what was meant by 'normal'. But even if he were to try and do that, he could never once again fit into that life which was taken away from him so long ago. What was it like to laugh, to love, to feel that various emotions of the human heart? Emotions were no longer his – he had sealed them away the week after he had completed his first mission. They were of no use to him on the battlefield, and will just merely get him killed. What mattered most was to destroy the Akumas, and retrieve the Innocence, nothing else. It was all he lived to do. Just like a robot, moving according to the commands issued. Robots didn't have the need for feelings – they just need to work till they break down.

_Maybe you're just scared,_ the voice taunted.

_Of what? There's nothing to be scared of,_ Kanda scoffed inwardly.

_I don't know. Why don't you ask yourself?_

_If I knew I wouldn't be asking you. _Kanda felt his irritation rising again.

_Then look inside youself._

_Scared?_ He thought as he watched Timcampy wave its wings feebly. It was not an emotion familiar to him. What would he be scared of anyway? Dying? He no longer cared. Losing in a battle? No, it was just pride. Then what? Losing his Innocence? Maybe that was it. He had been bound so long by its chains he not longer knew what to do without it.

_Look deeper within your heart._

Memories of his first mission came flooding back, when he first watched his comrades die, not being able to do a single thing about it. He could hear the screams, taste their fear, as blood splashed down upon the ground. He remembered screaming, struggling against the finder who was holding him back. He recalled being told that it was due to a rash move, and there was nothing anyone could do about it then – he was their only hope. By the time everything ended, not a living soul was in sight other than the finder and him. The people he used to know were all dead, eyes blankly open, staring at him, the ground thick with the slick coppery smell of blood…

_Deeper…_

All staring at him, accusing him. Like they were saying, you left us to die. _You _killed us.

_Deeper still…_

It's all your fault. _Your_ fault.

His fault.

'Stop it.' Kanda's voice sounded harsh in the silence of the room. So sudden. So loud.

_You're hiding from yourself._

'Maybe I am,' he agreed. He must have gone crazy, talking to himself.

He had been living on blindly ever since, unfeeling, unthinking, uncaring. Why should he? Everyone dies some day or other, and one day, it would be his turn. And then, he would be forgotten, like water evaporated from the surface of a mirror. Gone without a trace forever. He saw no point in trying to keep things since they won't be going with him to hell when he dies. His name would be forgotten, just a splash on ink in a book. Mugen would be destroyed so that the Innocence could be retrieved. Everything would be gone then. Moyashi would obviously disagree, for certain. To the bean sprout, memories and feelings were those that can only belong to him. But if his emotions were dead, what was the use of memories to him? He could as well as be a Bookman.

He recalled visiting his sensei when he was fifteen. He had asked him what he was living for, but sensei didn't say anything about it.

_Kanda, you've changed,' his sensei pointed out the moment he sat down._

'…'

'_What happened to you? You look pretty dead on your feet.'_

'_Sensei, do you know what I should live for?' he blurted out, the words having left his mouth before he could stop them. All these years, he was never able to hide a single thing from his teacher, who knew him inside out all the time._

'_So that's what's bothering you.' His sensei sipped his tea, and then slowly answered. 'No, I don't know what you're going to live for – it's something that only you can answer yourself. Why should a question like this be bothering you?'_

'_I couldn't find a reason to…' Kanda bowed his head, slightly out of shame for having such thoughts, and his sensei raised an eyebrow._

'_You live for yourself, don't you?'_

'_No, I've been thinking recently, if I didn't have the Innocence…'_

He had poured his heart out to his teacher, who said nothing throughout, but merely listened. All he said at the end when Kanda was about to leave was,' There is still something that can only belong to you, and no one else.'

'_What is?'_

'_That only you can find out for yourself.'_

Maybe sensei was talking about home, but he didn't have one, did he? Anyway, sensei was dead now. He always-

'TIM!! Where are you!!?' a shout outside jolted him out of his thoughts. It was that stupid moyashi again. How long had he been thinking? The sky had long turned into velvet black with its sprinkling of sparkling stars, and now the only light in his room came from the lotus flower. Timcampy started fluttering around at the sound of its master's voice, as if reflecting his anxiety.

'Oh, hey, Lavi. Did you happen to see Timcampy?' Allen's voice came from outside the door.

'Nope. I won't be surprised though – I saw a cat slinking around in here just a moment ago,' Lavi answered with his usual cheerfulness.

'Noooo!! It should be around here…maybe it got lost,' Allen sounded more and more frantic by the second.

Kanda drew on a white long sleeved shirt and black pants, tossing his exorcist's uniform aside. Since moyashi was so frantically looking for the flying gold ball, he'd as well return it – it was time for dinner anyway and according to his memory, the golf ball had a talent for burrowing through walls just to get to its owner, and he had no intention of having a hole in his walls where people could peep in and intrude on his privacy. Timcampy patted his face with its tail and he swatted it away, annoyed. It was when Allen gave a particularly loud wail outside when he flung the door open, looking livid and pretty bent on murdering him, mugen in hand.

'Ah, Yuu! I didn't know you're back!' Lavi grinned, even as he pointed mugen at his nose. There was no teaching this fool, really. 'How did your mission go?'

'Who said you could call me by my first name?' Kanda hissed in reply instead.

'Uh…K…Kanda, we didn't know this was your room…um, we'll be going now, sorry…'Allen paled, backing away.

'Hold it there,' Kanda said in such a low and menacing voice that Allen froze in his steps. 'If you're looking for your stupid golem, it's-' He never got to finish his sentence when said golem flopped down from midair to perch upon his head, tail swishing in front of his face.

'Ah.' Lavi looked ready to die of laughter. 'I didn't know that Timcampy liked you so much!!'

'T...Tim!! Get down from that dangerous place!!' Allen squeaked. Kanda was probably going to destroy the golem now.

'Che.' Kanda swatted it off, but it remained flying around him.

'Know what, Yuu? That golem's a cute accessory, and with it, you look positively _cute_.' Lavi choked.

'I didn't know Tim is this close to you…wait a minute. Why is it in your room anyway?' Allen cast for a change of topic as Kanda turned on Lavi with an obviously murderous intent.

'How would I know?' Kanda scoffed. 'Be glad it wasn't eaten up.' With that, he turned on his heel and strode off towards the canteen.

'Wait up, Yuu!! We're going to the canteen too-' Lavi and Allen ran to catch up with him. As Allen bombarded him with questions and Lavi started babbling away like an idiot, his sensei's words echoed in Kanda's mind again.

'_There will still be something that can only belong to you.'_

Maybe he meant this – when it comes down to the end, when everything is long gone, all that will be left is the warmth of humanity, and no one can ever take it away from him. Maybe not all of his emotions were dead, after all. Something _did_ belong to him, in the end, as he watched the two argue over something trivial. At least, he knew, that these people would be with him till the end.

'Che…' he scoffed. 'I'll leave you two to come down to a conclusion yourself…' Quickening his pace, he left the two quickly behind.

'We've angered him again…' Allen sobered.

'Oh really? But why do I get the feeling he's in a pretty good mood today?' Lavi was puzzled.

The two soon started arguing again, and Kanda overhearing it, doubled-back to threaten them with his weapon since he was their topic of conversation. Komui, attracted by the noise and racket they were making down the corridor, poked his head around the door and watched the two exorcists being chased down the corridor by a crazy sword-wielding samurai-wannabe emanating a simply murderous black aura.

'Ah, well…' Komui sighed, a smile tugging at his lips. 'I guess he's alright now.' He shook his head as the terrified and crazed laughing came down the corridor that was of Allen's and Lavi's.

'Nii-san? Who are you talking to?' A girl poked her head out as well, wearing the exorcist's uniform with long dark hair in two neat ponytails, bearing a tray of hot, steaming coffee.

'Ah, Leenali! No, Nii-san's not talking to anyone in particular – oh!! You've made nii-san coffee, oh, I'm so touched!!' Komui babbled, hugging his sister and nearly upsetting the tray of coffee she was carrying.

'Nii-san!' Leenali exclaimed. 'I really don't know what you're talking about – there's a lot of work waiting to be done.'

'Leenali don't leave me!!' Komui tailed behind his sister like a lovesick puppy, babbling non-stop. 'Come on…don't leave nii-san behind!!' his voice trailed off as they went further and further away.

Outside, the moon shone on, softly, and all around in the world the Earl and the Noahs are still lurking somewhere waiting to be captured, and people are still being killed and turned into Akumas, but none of the exorcists are condemning themselves to defeat yet, even though the Earl said they would, having already lost everything.

_We live by gaining and losing things, we lost them and gain them again. But the only thing that no one can ever take from us is the warmth of humanity, even if they are long dead, etched into our memories and hearts forever._

_It's because we can feel, we can remember, that it can only belong to us, and that's what makes the difference._

_And until then, we will not admit defeat yet._

fin

Or…tbc?

N: Wow, that was really long. I spent quite some time perfecting the scripts and all, because I thought that the voice I was using was too active at first, and had to change everything to passive. This story can be continued, so I decided to put it to a vote – this can easily turn into a Kanda Allen one too! Tell me if you want me to continue this. All the thanks to all those people who supported me from my first story onwards. **Kiri Coil** I'm so terribly sorry I'm not able to write a Yullen right now, but I promise, I promise I'll start working on it okay?

After the examinations my inspirations are just returning, and I'm starting on a Tyki one. Then I'll start on the Yullen one, coz it's wayyy too long!! -.-" Anyway. My fingers are tired from typing already. So, till then, okay, everyone? –waves and saunters off to find her Kanda plushie-


	2. 2First Doubts

N: Heyy, the second chapter is up and in the running! For all of you, I don't think I can ever stop writing. Actually the story was intended to end the last chapter – I'm not a professional at writing long, continued stories, but I'll try my best to, alright? Please guide me along the way and help me improve –looks imploringly with wide eyes- I've decided to turn this into a Yullen fic too! Many thanks to those who voted –starts distributing plushies- Now…

Review replies:

Aeriel: I didn't know that I had to do review replies until recently – so sorry!! Now for all those overdue ones…

**Scintillating: **Thank you for your comments!! It really warmed up my heart and encouraged me on to write!!

**Youko-love:** Sure, I'll do a Lavi/Kanda for you. In fact, its already in the making!! Thanks for your reply…oh my gosh, I didn't know I did the Kanda part so well. I thought that it wasn't that steady…specially towards the end.

**Small-Innocence:** Your words really spurred me on to continue this story. Thank you!! –hugs-

**Heavenslie90:** I love Timcampy!! It is way too cute!! XD Yep yep, it's a Yullen ficcy now!

Aeriel: Now that's for all for the minute…Such big thanks!! And now, let the story begin…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

**That which belongs to me**

**Chapter two:**

**First Doubts**

**Author: Aeriel Cross**

**Genre: Angst / Romance**

**Summary: What was Kanda going with Timcampy then? Allen wonders, searching for answers, and finds something more surprising that he can ever hope for.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGray man, but I own this story. Agree? **

Allen ambled into his room, without bothering to flick the lights on. There was sufficient light coming in from the window, the slender, silver moonbeams illuminating everything it falls on. Closing the door behind him with a soft click, he stretched sensuously, yawning, and flopped down upon his bed, a gentle breeze rustling his chiffon curtains.

'Ah, Timcampy, that was a great dinner, wasn't it?' He sighed, lifting a hand to brush the hair that fell across his eyes away. 'I loved the dango!! Did you see how Kanda's face was like when Lavi-kun tried to get him to eat one? I wonder what Kanda'll look like if he really did…' Staring up at the white ceiling, he recalled how livid Kanda looked when Lavi shoved a dango onto his empty plate, demanding with an impish grin that Kanda try it, and laughed out loud, voice like the clear ringing of bells.

_Kanda…_

Staring up at the white ceiling, Allen let out a long sigh, as Timcampy fluttered around his head lazily. He had been worried when Timcampy disappeared, and was utterly surprised to find it in Kanda's room – with Kanda himself. Allen knew clearly how much Kanda despised him, and was puzzled as to what happened in there. He started thinking up various possibilities, but decided that they were probably impossible. Timcampy was with him then, and after all, there was really only one way to find out…

'Tim, can you show me what happened when you were with…Kanda, in his room?'

The golem circled the room once, twice, then stopped and opened its mouth as an image was projected into the air. Sitting up, Allen laughed when he saw the image of a cat chasing something, presumably Timcampy, down a corridor. Then the image switched to it hovering before a door, and Kanda coming straight at it. 'Che,' said the Kanda in the image, shooting the golem a glare before entering the room, hostility clear in his eyes. Although the glare wasn't meant for Allen, he repressed a shudder from the fury he felt.

_He's really scary…_Allen thought to himself.

Kanda's room was quite dark, and everything seemed to be a red colour due to the orange glow from the sunset. It was quite bare, in Allen's opinion, although he was sure Kanda thought it was sufficient. A low cabinet, a bed, a wooden desk, on which lies a small stack of books and a pen, and a straight-backed wooden chair. Allen could have sworn the black leather bound book lying top most on the stack had the word 'Diary' spelt across it in elegant, curving gold lettering. What did really draw his attention was the hourglass standing on the low cabinet in the room that contained a beautiful pink lotus. It was truly beautiful, so fragile-looking lying in the top bulb quietly, gently emanating a soft, glowing light. He really didn't know that Kanda was into flowers that he'd keep one in an hourglass.

_I'm surprised that he keeps a diary though – and his window is cracked…_

The image then abruptly snapped back to Kanda, now lying on the bed with his hands behind his head, eyes quietly following Timcampy's every move. His hand twitched when Timcampy had went too near his katana, but allowed it to rest near his head on the pillow. After that, it would seem like he had completely forgotten about the golem's existence, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, mouth set in a grim, straight line, unmoving except for the gentle rising and falling of his chest, but Allen didn't miss the pain clouding in his eyes, and when he clenched his teeth as if to stop himself from crying out loud. What was Kanda thinking, to cause him such emotional pain? Was it his past, or was it his mission? Or was it something else all together? Kanda's face looked immensely sad, but the gaze in his eyes were strong, the guarded look he always had was gone now that he was all alone in his room. Now that he thought about it, Allen actually thought that Kanda looked pretty, just like a girl. Currently, Kanda was saying 'Stop it', dragging a hand across his eyes, his voice harsh and pained. Tortured. As he watched, Allen wished he could take Kanda into his arms and somehow comfort him, stroke his hair till the pain in his eyes went away. What would it feel like, to take Kanda into his arms, to kiss him, soft lips brushing against one another…

'No!!' Allen shouted, shaking his head clear of the thought, his cheeks burning up. How could he even think that of Kanda? They were both guys, and he wasn't even homo!! Or was he? Either way, Kanda would murder him if he even as much as thought about it.

Presently, he looked up just in time to see Kanda undressing himself, and blushed a crimson red. Unable to look away, he watched as Kanda undid the buttons on his exorcist's coat and slipped it off to reveal broad shoulders and a flat, bandaged chest. Even worse, the Japanese had started to remove his pants too. Allen had to admit that Kanda was indeed good-looking, with long and lithe limbs and well toned muscles. Although Kanda's build wasn't that large, Allen could tell his strength from his movements, so strong, precise and graceful.

_Oh. My. God…_

Allen couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment when Kanda finally drew on a pair of long pants and a white long sleeved shirt. A part of him was glad that he was spared the embarrasement, but a larger part of him was disappointed. No, wait a minute. Why was he disappointed in not being able to see Kanda with his shirt off!? When he was young, he had always seen men and guys shirtless, but he had never felt that way towards any of them at all, so why was he reacting this way to Kanda now? He watched, a fury suddenly clouding Kanda's face, and the Japanese snatched up mugen to stride to the door and fling it wide open. The image ended there then, but Allen's thoughts did not.

Now that he truly thought about it, Kanda was constantly in his mind. Wherever he went, Kanda would be sure to appear at some point or another, and Allen suspected that he had been stalking Kanda all the time unconsciously. Somehow, he realized that he knew all of Kanda's habits by heart. With a sudden shock, he realized whenever Kanda was nearby, he'd shoot nervous glances at the exorcist, and look away, feigning ignorance if Kanda ever chanced to look up. And to think of it, whenever Kanda was injured in missions, although Allen understood and knew fully well his ability to heal in no time at all, he was the most anxious of all. Memories flashed though his mind quickly, and Allen's face turned paler and paler in horror as the proof became more and more evident, realization finally hitting him. Then, the image of Kanda undressing flashed by, and Allen flushed again.

_Am i…in love with him?_

That night, Allen fell into a troubled and disturbed sleep.

-end-

**A.N: Short chapter, I guess. I wanted to leave a cliffie, that's why. Hehe, guess what's going to happen next? I hope that you liked this chapter. I'm still torn between the decision to write their love physical or just skip it…I hope I maintained the standard of the story throughout!! I have a tendency to lost standard as the story stretches – I'm best with lengthy oneshots. Please read and review!! I'll try my best to update again soon, promise!! But my holidays are coming, then I might not be able to…and can someone please tell me, what the freaking hell is dango!!?**


	3. Roses, thorns and a little hesitancy

N: Back, and still a long way to go!! Hehe…I wrote this faster than I thought I would – ran out of inspiration. Hm. It's been some time since the last chapter I wrote, hmm? I guess so. I was on holiday yesterday. Stuffing myself with food, shouting random stuff like 'yayness', 'yaoi-freak' and 'mongentai'. Come to think of it, I don't really know what the heck I was doing yesterday!!? I'm now cleaning up and storing manga away, more than a 100 series with 10 or so volumes. Actually it's more than that, but I just don't wanna make my work miserable. Sigh oh. And I just got back my report book. Eep.

Review replies:

**Firenose:** Okay, thanks!! I love my story too!! Yayness!!

**Xcadaverx:** Ooh…dango. Oh really. I never really gave much thought to it…

**Sachiroyurei**: Yep, it's Yullen!! My FAVOURITE pairing!! XD Come to think of it, Lavi/Kanda also not too bad…

**Youko-love**: Heyy, thanks!! I think my writing style has got to do with my imagination skills. No, Kanda's not the one who likes dango, Allen is. Kanda only likes stuff that has got to do with noodles…and your thing about the journal just gave me an idea….hehehe…

**2stupid**: …okay. I'll continue!! Thanks?

**Scintillating**: Ooh, another one of your reviews!! Yay!! –jumps about- Dango sure sounds nice…Okay, Kanda is REAL sexy, I must admit, but Allen is pretty slow. The author said that Kanda is the 1st most idiotic, followed by Allen…

**Small Innocence**: Yep, I've just updated chapter 3, but sorry to disappoint, I might not be able to update for the rest of the year…if I ever get into touch with a computer, for that matter. Thanks for the review!! It really makes my day!!

**That which belongs to me**

**Chapter 3**

**Roses, Thorns, and a little hesitancy**

**Author: Aeriel Cross**

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray Man.

As expected, Allen did not get a wink of sleep at all last night, tossing and turning in his bed troubled by his own thoughts till the sky outside turned a pale blue. Dragging himself up from his bed reluctantly, he ran a hand through his messy hair in a weak attempt to flatten them and shuffled over to the window, pulling apart the blinds and flinching as the light hit his eyes. Not everything was entirely bright yet, the sun being still a bit too low down the horizon, the forest being the Black Order which Allen's room overlooked was half hidden in shadow, and half in light.

'Aw.' Sighed Allen, yawning widely. 'I know it's a beautiful morning, Tim, but I can't believe I didn't sleep at all last night…' The golem merely swished its tail around in reply. 'Ah well…' Snatching up a towel that was hanging over the back of his chair, Allen made his way to the bathrooms, or rather, the springs, hoping that a morning bath would wake him up sufficiently for the day. What he didn't expect was to get more confused by someone who was already there.

As expected, the springs were quite empty, since it was still very early – it couldn't have been more than eight then. Allen couldn't help but yawn again as he folded his clothes neatly into a locker and wrapped a snow white towel around his waist, before moving over to the water, Timcampy accompanying on his head. The place was hot and steaming, with the soothing noise of running water. It was said that before Komui became head of the science department, every room used to have its own bathroom. Sinking into the warm water ( actually it was rather hot ), Allen sighed, leaning his head back against the rocks. Looking up, he spotted a dark figure also in the springs at the far end, and squinted for a better look. Who could it be that woke up so early too? It couldn't be the science department – they were still working themselves to death when he passed their office just now. Just then, the steam parted to reveal a certain dark long haired man, reclining slightly on the rocks, hair tied up in a vague bun to keep it out of the water.

'Ack…Kanda!!' Allen thought, flushing again, immediately reminded of yesterday night. 'I hope he doesn't notice me…'

However, it was just as if Kanda heard his thoughts, for he chose that moment to look up right into Allen's eyes. Allen froze at the sight of those dark blue eyes, so deep, so intense, and so blue as if he were drowning in them. It held for that way for three seconds, before Kanda finally looked away again, and Allen could have sworn he almost heard him say 'che', a mocking smile gracing his lips.

_What the…he's laughing at me!? _ Allen really felt like punching the exorcist.

For the next ten minutes, Allen struggled between his urge of wanting to stare at Kanda and not to avoid attracting his attention, but he eventually gave in. The urge was simply too strong to resist and there was really nothing to do – shooting nervous glances at the Japanese merely gave him a headache. Once again, Allen thought that Kanda would really be beautiful were it not for his foul mouth and hot temper. All the time he knew Kanda, Kanda always kept on criticizing people, mocking them and constantly threatening to cut them up into bits with mugen. Right now, however, when he's not speaking, he really made a picture. His eyes, framed with long, dark eyelashes were closed, looking so peaceful, as if he were asleep, though Allen knew if he were to as much as to go near him mugen would be up at his throat in no time at all. A few strands of hair clung to the side of his face and neck wetly, bringing out the pale milky complexion of kanda's skin, so smooth, so soft…

_Crap, what am I thinking about again?_ Allen shook himself mentally out of his stupor.

A patch of black on Kanda's white chest caught Allen's attention, and on a closer look, he could make out just roughly that it was a tattoo, looking like a Hinduism symbol. What could it be? Tearing his gaze away from Kanda, Allen sighed and leant back against the rocks, sinking deeper into the hot water. What possessed him to suddenly like Kanda? Kanda was cold, foul mouthed and insensitive. If he was going to like a guy, why couldn't he like a better one, one with a better personality than Kanda's? But then, it was probably what made Kanda, Kanda. As the white steams rose about his head, he yawned again. The heat was making him sleepy again, and he couldn't think properly, too…

When he first heard the splash, Kanda thought that the bean sprout has left the baths for good. A glance around told him that Allen was nowhere to be seen, but his golem was still hovering above the surface of the water where Allen was a while ago, fluttering frantically around.

'Huh?'

A closer look at the water surface showed air bubbles surfacing and popping, evidence that someone had went underwater. No doubt it would be Allen Walker. He had seen Allen half falling asleep a while ago, and putting two and two together, deduced that he had fallen asleep and slipped underwater. Expecting him to surface when he needed to breathe, Kanda ignored the whole situation and returned to his own thoughts, but when Allen still hasn't resurfaced after ten minutes, he began to worry. Getting up and splashing his way over to Allen reluctantly, he glared down at the white stuff underwater which was Allen's hair. Not willing to touch the guy, Kanda glanced at Timcampy, and an idea occurred to him.

'Hey, you.' He pointed to the thing underwater. '_Bite him._'

Timcampy dove into the water, and to Kanda's satisfaction, Allen emerged five seconds later screaming bloody murder with Timcampy hanging off his nose with its sharp teeth deeply dug into his flesh.

'Oww, Timcampy!! Let go, it hurts!!! Ow, hot, hot,_hot!!_' Allens shrieked, trying to pull Timcampy off, face red from the heat of the water. After a few more minutes of hilarious struggling and yelling, Allen finally noticed Kanda.

'Ka…Kanda!!' Allen flushed a deeper red, if that was even possible, backing up against the rocks. 'Wha…what are you doing here?'

Kanda raised an eyebrow at Allen's distress, surprised. 'Me? Saving you from drowning?'

'I…I don't…I wasn't…' Allen looked away, embarrassed that he _had_ almost drowned before Kanda. Kanda studied the teen before him and smirked. Leaning forwards, he put both hands on either side of Allen's head, trapping Allen between his arms and leant in so close he could feel Allen's breath on his face.

'Oh, really? You _wasn't_ drowning?' Kanda jested, smiling mockingly.

Allen stiffened at the close contact, pressing himself further back against the rocks, heart beating abnormally fast. 'What…what are you doing…K…Kanda?' he managed to stammer out.

Kanda smirked at the sight of the flustered exorcist before him, before straightening with a scornful 'che' and walked away, and Allen found that he could breathe again. He watched as Kanda hoisted himself out of the springs and strode over to where mugen was, trying to regain his breath.

_What just happened just now? What did Kanda do just now?_ His mind was in utter chaos.

'Hmpf. Can't even take a bath without drowning, _moyashi._' Kanda scoffed as he left, placing more emphasis on the last word.

'My name's Allen!!!'

'Whatever. Moyashi.' Kanda smirked as he sauntered off.

'DON'T CALL ME MOYASHI!!!" Allen screamed, fuming, but Kanda had already left, leaving Allen alone in the springs.

A.N: I've given a lighter mood to this chapter, if you haven't noticed. I thought my stories were always too intense, so I gave this a lighter touch…sorry for the long update, I caught the flu, but it's up now. Some fan service, huh, Kanda…? Imagine him…like…woah? Might not be able to update anymore soon because my school holidays are just around the corner. But I promise I'll write like mad ( if mum allows after my horrible report card ) during the time!! Yayness!! Book 12 of D.GM is out, too bad it's in Japanese. I don't really understand the language…thanks for all the dango advisors though. It sounds pretty nice but I doubt if I ever get to eat one. Mm…I'm only into chocolate. Oh! And I needn't be retained in sec 3!! Yippee!! I was so afraid I would!! –cries- Now before the next chapter…review please? Thanks for reading!! –bows deeply-


	4. A little beginning

A.N: Ooh, crap. I have totally forgotten about this fic – I seriously thought that it was completed anyway... Its been such a long time since i've picked up a pen and wrote anything serious, so I hope you won't be too angry if it veers off track ( I've conveniently forgotten my plotline )... Still. Yeah, I know its lame. . That, and I ought to tell you I haven't been following D.G.M for quite some time... ( broke + no time ).

Special Thanks: To **KuroDemon** who has reminded me of this fic once more, and told me to write on it.

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That Which Belongs to me

Chapter Four

Author: Aeriel Cross

Genre: General

Disclaimer: I do not own D.G.M. But i'm entitled to my fangirly thoughts.

It had been such a long time since that ( rather embarrassing ) incident when they were both ( unfortunately, as the dark haired exorcist likes to think ) paired together for a mission again.

While Kanda had been content to remain silent throughout most of the journey, he did wish that Allen would shut up, though his idle chatter wasn't intolerable enough for him to resort to violence in exchange for a moment's silence. As usual, as with all missions, debris, blood and chaos came together with this one. It was like a three in one pacakage – invite one, invite all. Then again, he probably would feel rather unsettled if one of the accompanying factors were missing. He certainly didn't count on the flamboyance that having Allen Walker in the party counted in, resulting in a lot of time wasted, to which Kanda glared daggers at the young exorcist who caused it, to have Allen hold his gaze and stare defiantly back, and watch when grey eyes took in his apparently disheveled appearance ( he could tell that much at least when his hair was falling about his face in a madly irritating way ) and drifted to the rip in his uniform on his shoulder where there was a huge gash. His lips twisted into a smirk, to disguise his discomfort at being under the beansprout's oddly intense scrutiny, and he certainly didn't miss the look in the other's eyes as Allen's gaze travelled over exposed skin, and certainly not that subtle moving of his throat as Allen swallowed.

"Like what you see?" Kanda sniped, and was rewarded with a glare as Allen jerked his gaze away harshly, though he did notice a faint blush rising to his cheeks – perhaps he was angry.

"You should have someone see to that," Allen replied curtly, choosing to ignore the question.

"And you should worry about yourself first," he had shot back with a note of finality in his tone, and turned away to pick his way through the debris and rubble, and heard that sharp intake of breath as the white haired exorcist behind him prepared to hurl his latest insult at his back-

"Tim!" He heard Allen exclaim in joy as his golden golem returned to his side. "I thought you were buried in the rubble."

"As conversation directed itself away from him, Kanda suppressed a sigh and picked his way through the rubble towards the way where they would be heading back, where he would wait for Walker to finish chatting with the fingers, feeling a twinge of disappointment at another opportunity lost to rile Walker up, which he considered to be rather good sport, if not entertaining. As he stood surveying the damage to the site, he had to wonder why he would even feel disappointment at all. He was fairly sure that it was annoyance, probably irritation. Besides, what was there to feel disappointed about? Surely there was nothing... He was soon jolted out of his reverie by their fellow finder approaching him with bandages in his hands, his purpose obvious.

"I don't need them," he said before the poor man could say anything. "Save them for someone else."

"But your injury..." the man attempted to persuade the raven haired man into accepting medical help, looking imploringly at the beansprout who was joining them for behind, as if he could help in this quest. "Please, Kanda-san..."

"That's right, you should listen to him," the familiar annoying voice sounded from behind him, oddly petulent, and that nearly made Kanda want to smirk. After all, despite all of his achievements, Allen Walker was still every bit a child. "It looks very serious."

"Do you need someone to buy a mirror for you?" Kanda scoffed. "We've wasted enough time." Without waiting for the rest, he had already begun his journey back to the headquarters.

Seldom was it that Kanda would be too seriously injured in an average job, all of it falling upon the beansprout if he ever happened to be present, who had a way of throwing himself into a sticky situation without abandon and thus attract the most ( and worst ) possible attention ever. Apparently subtelty was not one of his forte. On the other hand, Kanda himsef preferred to finish things the quick, silent way. Slip in, get the job done, and slip out again. He needed nothing more extra in between that would weigh him down, and business was business. Preferring to lie low, he would much prefer not to be noticed until the enemy was dead, by then which it would be too late. It wasn't that difficult when Allen was making a huge commotion right in their middle. He supposed the little brat would make a great decoy if not for the fact that he was a little to precious to the Order. Not that the Order would actually use exorcists as a decoy. But he certainly didn't approve of Walker's 'heroic' attitude that he often brought into the battlefield with his feelings that made it seem somewhat like a drama performance. Besides, there was nothing to get involved with when they were just the reincarnated living dead and immoral humans. It was going to get him killed one day, most definitely, with that something extra. What did he think he was anyway, and who was he, if wearing the uniform had any significance for the idiot. Probably not, if anything went through that thick skull of his.

A hand grabbed his arm, pulled him back snarling into Allen's face then, and he would be glad to say that whatever happened afterwards would most definitely testify that he was in good shape and not in dire need of medical help as implied by Walker, and was left satisfied.

Allen reclined in bed, staring up at the strange painting that hung on the wall next to the bed, cooled merely by the light breeze that drifted in through the open window, bringing with it the damp smell of the night forest, slightly earthy but not entirely unpleasant. Timcampy was happy to perch on the edge of his dresser, silent and still, and he wondered if it slept, just like any human. It was always good to be home, he thought, as he smiled. Leenalee had been worried about them having a very undignified fight, not to mention irritated once the initial concern had worn off that they were not about to keel over and die any moment, and he had to grin at the memory where not even she could coax an apology from Kanda. However, he was indeed puzzled as to how the other man's wounds could heal in such a short time, leaving nearly no trace.

Idly, his mind soon drifted to the image of the quiet japanese standing admidst the debris, with his long hair fluttering about his face, framing and bringing out the japanese's pale, deceptively delicate features, and wondered how his hair would feel like. Kanda probably took good care of his hair, for one. Soft and silky, perhaps? Just like the milky skin that he often hid beneath his uniform... Allen shook his head. Somehow, it seemed strange for him to be fantasizing about the man when Tim was watching – he had no wish to spark a desire in himself that needed any physical taking care of. A slight blushing rising to his cheeks once more, he could hear Kanda's voice in his mind, whispering seductively to him.

Like what you see?

Most definitely, he thought, feeling desire slither quietly through him, and shivered as he brought the image of the smug expression that the man wore on his face to the front of his mind, the smirk that fit him so well – but most of all, that chellenging look in Kanda's eyes that was the most captivating part of him, added with that bit of mystery and aloofness that he had gathered about him at all times... yes, definitely the most captivating. He imagined that arrogant voice saying his name, and smiled, for some reason. Somehow, he felt that the japanese was keeping a distance from everyone on purpose, refusing to get any deeper than knowing each other's names. Why, though? He turned the thought about in his head, examining new possible angles that might be there. Afraid, maybe? But he didn't seem to be the type that gets easily afraid. What was there to be scared of, besides? What haven't they – haven't Kanda seen or touched yet? He recalled at how the man had tried his best to annoy off everyone, cutting off any and all connections possible, with the exception of Leenali, since he seemed to be unable to bring himself to be unkind to the female gender. From that direction, he felt that Kanda wasn't really a bad guy at all, contrary to all that arrogance and thorns above. That with the notion of him not letting him drown in the pool was very much pointing to that Kanda was indeed trying to be mean on a purpose. Well, he'll do something about that.

Small things, in the beginning, perhaps. Starting with those little arguments that they always held. Surely determination and steer stubborness wouldn't let him down? Besides, as his friend, he was sure that he should do something about that thorny behavior. Who was he to turn down a good challenge anyway – he loved challenges.

As the night wore on, Allen plotted on how to be the next best Kanda-annoying-member.

-tbc-

A.N: Now, I hope that didn't turn out too bad. Busy week, might not update soon. So sorry to keep you waiting! .


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